Joo know what time it is?

El Secret really works. Thursday night I was begging the jooniberse to make me part of a bigger and more glamourous world.  And then, on Friday morning I got a call from an Argentinian hermano asking me if I would be interested in being a part of the pre-chow for the 25th Annual Film Independent Espirit Awards at the Nokia Theatre. I was not prepared weed the material or more importantly, my costume… pero I reminded myself that when oportunidad knocks joo got to say “Si se puede!”. Besides, what the khell was cooler to do on a Friday night? 

So, I put some last minute chit toogether and accessorized weed a gorgeous hat by Bijou Van Ness.

Although most people asked me why I was dressed the way I was (they obviously hab no clue who Coacha was), La Rosario Dawson waved to be from afar and told me how hermosa I looked in front of all the khaters, jaja! Thaz all that matters beeshes! 

Here’s a clip of Rosario playing conmigo!!

 

Another diva who appreciated by fabulosity was the amazingly fierce figure skater and fashion icon, Yonny Wierd. Que cute is he???

They did a close up on my papaya nails and my “Lola” by Marc Yacobs perfume ring!

The blue carpet pre-chow was hosted by the adorable Stuart Brazell who introduced me as Perezito’s reporter, asking me about the chisme on the red carpet. Unfortunately, the only dirrrty chisme that was on the carpet was Mo’Nique’s hairy legs, pero, I couldn’t talk about that, becoz it was a politically correct chow. We all know that I am not so PC on PerezHilton.com, so it was a bit of a shallenge to be nice. 

Ay lub Mo’Nique pero homegirl says, that cheese only chabed her legs ONCE in her lifetime, becoz it hurts. Mami, is 2010. There is something called, LASER HAIR REMOOBAL!

The greatest anticipation on the carpet was to see Mimi! Eberybody was star struck, when MC walked the blue carpet. Unfortunately, Mariah wasn’t champagne drunk like at the Palm Spreengs Awards. 

La Aries was smiling and laughing when the crazy reporters were screaming, “Me and Mariah, go back like babies con pacifiers!”. Unlike, most celebrities who are skeenier in person, Mariah is actually thicker! Her chichis and pompis are huge! I want to know how Mimi makes herself look skinnier in photos y bideos!!

All in all, I was perdy impressed by the Independent Films awards, becoz it was perdy mosh the same A-list celebrities that attended Los Oscars, minus Sandra Bullocks. Pero, who cares? Our Stuart Brazell kinda looks like her, que no?

xxx

La Coacha, the life coach to the stars